I've gotten comments about where Kamu is from and how long he's been home, but I would estimate that 90+% of the people who've asked me questions haven't really been nosy. Sometimes they are. The other day, a woman sitting next to me was watching Kamu play and asked if Patrick was also adopted. I said "No." Her response was "Oh, so he's natural?"
My response was, with a slight laugh, "Well, they're both natural--neither one is made of plastic or anything!"
She responded "Oh, you know what I mean."
No ma'am, I don't, and I'm trying to make a point that your terminology is not acceptable without blatantly telling you so. I've never referred to a child as "natural" before. Doesn't that really ask questions about his conception, especially since I've already said he's not adopted, and why would that be anyone else's business but ours? I've heard people refer to children as "natural" when compared to those conceived by artificial reproductive technology (though I still don't get that; does ART make them fake kids somehow?). When I refer to how our kids joined our family, I usually say that Patrick is ours biologically or by birth and Kamu is ours by adoption from Ethiopia.
I've asked parents if a child was biologically theirs if they're a "conspicuous family", as our prospective adoptive parent training person put it. It's still tough to open up that conversation even as the parent of a transracial family (though I find it's easier if I have the kids with me). It's always enjoyable when I manage it without awkwardness, and I've made several friends that way.
Many of you are parents of children of other races and other countries. How do you open up conversations with other people about race? What types of comments have you gotten about your children and how do you deal with them?