I'm not exactly shy about sharing my thoughts. Never have been, never will be. I have gotten better at responding to "What happened to his real parents?" or "What happened to his birthmom?" by matter-of-factly responding "We don't share that information. It belongs to Melkamu," and changing the subject or continuing the conversation while leaving that alone. Most people have been very respectful of that approach, but there have been some who continue to believe that they deserve the information and ask about it frequently. I'm sticking with the same approach for them, but it drives me up a wall to be asked repeatedly about information that we've said we're not sharing.
The issue is that both Patrick and Melkamu are starting to ask questions about adoption, and they can't be put off with that kind of statement. Patrick met Melkamu's firstmom when we were in Hosanna. We had a meeting with her first, just us and the translator, while the other wonderful people in our travel group helped by watching him. It gave us a chance to ask her questions and for her to ask us questions. It was not an easy meeting emotionally; we were also unprepared for how awkward it would be to have to talk through a translator, and we're not sure that either one of us was translated entirely properly. I sobbed through most of the meeting and was completely unable to talk for a good bit afterwards. We were able to take some treasured photos of us with her and have those for Melkamu.
The first family/finders read these words in their home language (there were three separate languages represented at our entrustment ceremony). They pass a lit candle to the adoptive families.